Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's Alright!

Admit it: You still love “Saved By The Bell”. There is no shame in this, it was a pretty amazing show.
Recently though, I have been noticing something different while I catch up with Bayside High every morning—Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa look like the hipster girls walking around my neighborhood. I’ve even found myself saying, “I want Lisa’s jacket!” Don’t believe me?

This is Miss Kelly Kapowski. It looks like she just got through lifeguarding with AC Slater at the Malibu Sands beach club. This looks absolutely appropriate for a lifeguard. I'm sure that high cut is very comfortable while running to save someone while they're drowning. Do I actually hear you liking that suit? That's good because...
This is a one piece suit from American Apparel, appropriately named the MALIBU one piece. Coincidence?! I think not, American Apparel! Look around you. Girls are wearing denim print leggings! Keds! SCRUNCHIES! I kid you not, I saw scrunchies at Hot Topic. HOT TOPIC!

OK, I know what you’re thinking. “Jess, c’mon. It’s a plain one piece! They’ve made those for years!” or “We all know American Apparel is weird!” OK. I see your point and raise you this:
This is Jessie Spano. I’m so happy she took time out of her busy schedule to pose for this picture in this oh-so-Native American inspired jacket. Those shoulder pads! That print! Nobody really likes Jessie Spano. Even her boyfriend AC makes fun of her all the time. Why would we ever—
OH GOD! Urban Outfitters did it too! Urban! I thought you were better than this! Yes, you cater to the hipster crowd. Yes, some things in your store are ugly as hell. One has to wonder if Urban Outfitters got together with the American Apparel people and decided to watch an “I love the 90s” marathon, then just say, “Fuck it! THIS is our collection! Totally awesome!” And then they high fived, held their Zimas up in the air and laughed hysterically.

As much as I adore Zack Morris, boys, please don't start dressing like he does. I literally know one person who can pull off white High tops. ONE. I love my generation, I really do. I love our sense of humor, irony and weird obsession with looking as unattractive as possible (but I’ll save that for another blog). But can we just admit that we do, in fact, miss the ‘90s like crazy? I do (and I’m planning on buying some of those high waisted, Tawny Kitaen jean shorts. Watch me). Looking throughout history, you will see that eventually, everything does come back. It was only a matter of time until we met again, ‘90s. I just hope that the early 2000’s fashion doesn’t come back, with that white eye shadow and bowling shirts with weird prints. It won’t, right? Right? Oh no. I’m so excited… I’m so… scared.