Monday, February 21, 2011
Dear Jennifer Love Hewitt,
We need to talk about your wardrobe. I’ve been silent long enough. This absolutely has to stop. You’re pretty. You’re young. Why keep dressing like a teenager that has no idea what she’s doing?
What I don’t get is why you have continued to employ your personal stylist. Look, I watched the Golden Globes and even though I didn’t see that Lifetime movie you were nominated for and I don’t watch your show where you see dead people, I was curious to see what you wore. I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed. See, you’re a smart girl. We both know that boys don’t look you directly in the eye while they talk to you (it’s a little further South). Why then would you choose to wear a crumb catcher-like pleated thing up top? I will give you points for the color (it goes extremely well with your skin tone) and I will even compliment you on the cinched waist (more on that in a second). But what’s going on? Is this part of your “I’ll make people like me for my brain” campaign? It’s not working.
Also, I’m not going to forget about when you dressed as Audrey Hepburn for your birthday. Silly me, I thought those pictures were from the set of “The Audrey Hepburn Story”. It wasn’t! You don’t see other celebrities doing a movie and somehow dressing like that person/ decade. What was that about?
I’ve seen paparazzi pictures of you that are adorable. I know you have it in you to dress better. Jennifer, the Academy Awards are next week. If you need a stylist, contact me. Until then, buy a good bra, find some clothes that fit you, and find a look that works. I believe in you.